A Journey To Masculinity
There was a defining moment in my life just before I turned 29. After many consecutive 3-day dry fasts from 2018, I had in the Spring of 2022 performed as usual with the dry fasting, but this time it was different; something had changed in me.
A good portion of my beard had changed into an orange color after the fast. What came with it were a whole new set of behaviors; behaviors I never had thought I could even perform in such a natural way. These behaviors were all more masculine in nature, and for my entire young adult life, I always felt like I had to perform masculinity, rather than actually be masculine.
When my life turned completely around from all of these new behaviors and experiences in and out of romantic relationships, I had quickly realized that identity isn’t just adaptive, but it is widely regulated by our body’s chemistry. I further recognized that if I raised spatial intelligence in this period, correlating with what was certainly higher testosterone, that masculinity is actually wired into our neurology.
I then began on my journey to merge all of the sciences I study within naturopathic functional medicine with my studies to better understand relationship psychology and human psychology as a whole. What came from that is Polarity Health, my company focused on utilizing the core structure of functional health to then allow for efficient ‘masculine & feminine integration.’
A core belief system for Polarity Health is in recognizing that the human mind possesses both a masculine and feminine framework between both sexes. These sides of the mind can go underdeveloped, leading to a person unconsciously seeking this development later in life. This dysfunction is where we come in for support, as coaches who are experts of developing the masculine and feminine sides of the mind.
Read on if you’d like to peak into how we understand human neurology and psychology under this unique light.
Masculine Neurology
In my book How Polarized Relationships Save The World, I explain that many human traits can be labeled as “masculine,” and that some people lean heavily toward one side of the mind or the other. This leaning can feel like a kind of neurodivergence—not in a clinical sense, but in how the mind stays in one “lane” of thinking.
However, leaning masculine doesn’t mean you’ve reached peak masculine development. A man can have the wiring for masculine thinking but still lack discipline, confidence, or clear decision-making if that side wasn’t developed through healthy experiences growing up.
Masculine neurology organizes itself around agency—initiating action, building structure, and moving toward a target. You’ll see it most clearly in men with healthy testosterone levels and a solid foundation from childhood.
Here are a few key masculine traits:
Masculine Traits
🔹 Cognitive & Strategic Traits
- Logical thinking – breaking problems into clear steps
- Spatial awareness – navigating physical space with ease
- Long-term planning – mapping out months or years ahead
🔹 Behavioral & Temperamental Traits
- Stoicism – emotional steadiness under pressure
- Assertiveness – speaking up and taking a stand
- Initiative – starting projects without being told
🔹 Social & Hierarchical Traits
- Leadership – guiding others toward a shared goal
- Protectiveness – guarding loved ones and resources
- Boundary enforcement – saying “no” when necessary
🔹 Physical & Hormonal Traits
- Physical strength – capacity to lift, carry, and endure
- Aggression potential – the energy to defend or pursue
- High-testosterone behaviors – drive, focus, and risk-taking
These traits could widely be assigned as having widely ‘yang-energy,’ where if a trait like ‘boundary enforcement’ was utilized well by a woman, it would just mean she has masculine integration in this area.
Below is a list of some examples of feminine traits:
Feminine Neurology
Feminine traits stem from a different organizing principle: receptivity. If the masculine mind is about directing energy outward, the feminine mind draws energy inward – connecting, sensing, and integrating.
Every other feminine trait grows from this root function. You’ll see them strongest in women with healthy estrogen balance and a supportive upbringing that nurtured emotional expression.
Here are a few key feminine traits:
Feminine Traits
🔹 Cognitive & Relational Traits
- Emotional intuition – sensing what others feel without words
- Social intelligence – reading group dynamics and unspoken rules
- Multi-tasking – fluidly handling multiple things at once
🔹 Behavioral & Temperamental Traits
- Nurturance – caring for others’ needs naturally
- Patience – allowing processes to unfold without force
- Adaptability – adjusting smoothly to changing situations
🔹 Social & Bonding Traits
- Harmony-seeking – resolving tension in relationships
- Attachment focus – valuing close connection and loyalty
- Supportiveness – uplifting others without needing the spotlight
🔹 Physical & Hormonal Traits
- Fertility cues – softness, curves, and facial symmetry
- Touch-oriented soothing – using contact to comfort
- Oxytocin-driven bonding – creating emotional safety
These are “yin energy” traits, and just as men can develop their feminine side, women can strengthen their masculine side. The goal is not to erase the differences, but to integrate both, so you have the full spectrum of human intelligence available to you.
IQ & EQ Need To Be Refined
At present, we as a society regard the intelligence quotient (IQ) as that leading means of assessing someone’s intelligence. However, emotional quotient (EQ) has been on the rise as of late. As it turns out, though, there are numerous quotients in less mainstream psychology circles or fringe thinking spaces:
SQ (Social Quotient) – Ability to interact effectively in social settings; reading social cues.
CQ (Cultural Quotient or Cultural Intelligence) – Ability to work effectively across different cultures and adapt to diverse environments.
MQ (Moral Quotient) – Decision-making and behavior guided by ethical principles.
AQ (Adaptability Quotient) – How well you adjust to change, uncertainty, and new challenges.
LQ (Learning Quotient) – Ability and willingness to learn new skills quickly.
TQ (Technical Quotient) – Comfort with and mastery of technology.
CQ (Creativity Quotient) – Creative thinking and problem-solving outside traditional logic.
PQ (Practical Quotient) – Street smarts; ability to apply knowledge effectively in real-life situations.
XQ (Execution Quotient) – Ability to translate ideas into action effectively.
SQ (Spiritual Quotient) – Capacity for meaning, purpose, and aligning actions with core values.
HQ (Health Quotient) – Awareness and application of healthy living habits.
BQ (Body Intelligence / Body Quotient) – Awareness of and responsiveness to physical needs and signals.
That’s a lot, right? Well, my aim for this article is to clarify that it can all be boiled down to a very simple model that can bring stronger clarity to how intelligence is measured in humans.
Masculine & Feminine IQ
Here comes the big reveal: I believe the masculine and feminine sides of the mind should be the most significant weights for assessing human intelligence.
Let me explain…
Nearly every trait coming from our neurology can be assigned as masculine or feminine.
Masculine thinking is directional and goal-oriented. It excels at structuring, sequencing, and decisively moving toward a clear target. IQ tests often reward these masculine traits – mental resilience, focused agency, logical sequencing, and rapid problem-solving – seen in subtests like working memory, processing speed, and spatial reasoning. These tasks demand control, output, and efficiency, reflecting the masculine drive for clarity and resolution.
However, not all aspects of IQ are purely masculine. Many IQ domains reveal strong feminine qualities that emphasize integration, relational awareness, and adaptability. For example, pattern recognition requires the ability to intuitively spot connections and analogies across complex data; traits rooted in feminine receptivity and holistic processing. Similarly, fluid reasoning blends masculine logic with feminine openness, calling on flexible thinking, insight, and the synthesis of diverse information. Even reading comprehension depends on feminine skills like semantic integration and contextual inference alongside masculine decoding and working memory.
This shows IQ is not entirely a monolith of masculine cognition but a dynamic interplay of masculine and feminine mental energies. Some components push forward with masculine decisiveness, while others draw inward, integrating and adapting with feminine nuance.
Seen through this lens, IQ challenges the mind both to command and to receive – to apply agency while remaining receptive. It’s a balance of linear logic and relational insight, of control and connection, all essential for true cognitive mastery.
Below, I will specify which aspects of the IQ testing are masculine (M) and or feminine (F).
Reading Comprehension (M & F)
The masculine brain governs structural components: Decoding language, sequencing syntax, and maintaining working memory. These rely on neural hubs like Broca’s area and the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, which enable logical parsing and mental resilience.
The feminine brain drives contextual understanding: Semantic integration, relational inference, and emotional attunement. Regions like the temporal-parietal junction and medial prefrontal cortex support this deeper connection to meaning and others’ perspectives.
These components are both needed for reading comprehension, and IQ testing seeks to assess this through verbal comprehension models.
Working Memory (M)
Neurologically, it is primarily governed by the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, a masculine-dominant region associated with executive control, focused attention, and mental resilience/
Processing Speed (M)
Processing speed is the brain’s ability to quickly perceive, interpret, and respond to information. It underpins fast decision-making, scanning for relevant details, and efficient mental performance.
Key brain regions involved include:
- Prefrontal cortex (especially dorsolateral areas): Coordinates rapid executive functions and prioritizes tasks.
- Parietal lobes: Support quick visual-spatial attention and sensory integration.
- White matter tracts: Facilitate fast communication between brain regions, optimizing signal transmission speed.
All of these traits are leaning masculine dominant.
Fluid Reasoning (F)
The core of fluid reasoning – pattern recognition, flexible problem-solving, relational integration, and intuitive insight – aligns strongly with feminine traits like receptivity, holistic processing, and adaptability.
However, it also requires focused mental effort, logical structuring, and decisiveness, which are masculine traits supporting the execution and application of reasoning.
So, fluid reasoning sits mostly on the feminine side of the polarity spectrum, with masculine aspects playing a supporting but essential role.
Key brain regions involved include:
- Prefrontal cortex (rostrolateral areas): Facilitates abstract thinking and strategic mental exploration.
- Parietal cortex: Supports integration of complex spatial and numerical data.
- Medial prefrontal cortex: Enables insight and flexible perspective-taking during problem-solving.
Pattern Recognition (F)
Pattern recognition is the cognitive ability to identify connections, analogies, and regularities within complex data – seeing the bigger picture beyond isolated details.
Key brain regions involved include:
- Right hemisphere, especially temporal and parietal lobes: Specialized in holistic processing and spatial relations.
- Medial prefrontal cortex: Supports integration of contextual and relational information.
- Posterior cingulate cortex: Involved in detecting and interpreting patterns within a wider framework.
Pattern recognition exemplifies feminine traits such as relational awareness, receptivity, and intuitive integration.
It depends on openness to subtle cues, flexible connection-making, and holistic insight rather than linear logic or rigid analysis.
This feminine cognitive skill is foundational to creativity, social cognition, and emotional intelligence, enabling individuals to navigate complex relational and abstract landscapes.
Mathematical Reasoning (M)
Mathematical reasoning involves quantitative problem-solving, number manipulation, and applying abstract formulas (applying abstract formulas is different than creating them) to reach precise conclusions.
Key brain regions include:
- Left parietal lobe (especially the intraparietal sulcus): Processes numerical magnitude and calculation.
- Prefrontal cortex: Supports planning, sequencing, and logical deduction.
- Angular gyrus: Integrates mathematical symbols and language.
Mathematical reasoning is predominantly masculine, emphasizing traits such as logical structuring, linear sequencing, decisiveness, and focused agency.
It demands clarity, rule-based thinking, and goal-directed problem solving – hallmarks of masculine cognition.
Spatial Reasoning (M)
Spatial reasoning is the ability to visualize, manipulate, and transform objects mentally in space. It enables skills like map reading, object rotation, and understanding spatial relationships.
Key brain regions involved include:
- Right parietal lobe: Specializes in spatial awareness and mental rotation.
- Occipital lobe: Processes visual input critical for spatial interpretation.
- Dorsal stream pathways: Integrate visual information for action planning.
Spatial reasoning aligns strongly with masculine traits of physical-world mapping, decisiveness, and problem-solving.
It requires focused mental agency to manipulate and navigate spatial data efficiently, reflecting masculine cognitive styles.
This domain is a staple in IQ testing and epitomizes masculine cognitive strengths in understanding and operating within the physical environment.
Memory Retention (M & F)
Information retention is often viewed as the masculine capacity for mental storage, organization, and disciplined recall – anchored in brain regions like the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex that enable focused encoding and retrieval of facts.
However, retention is not merely about rigid storage; it also requires feminine receptivity – the openness to absorb, integrate, and contextually connect new information. This receptive component engages areas such as the temporal-parietal junction and medial prefrontal cortex, facilitating meaningful assimilation rather than isolated memorization.
Masculine brain regions:
- Hippocampus: Encodes and consolidates memories with precision and reliability.
- Prefrontal cortex (dorsolateral areas): Manages focused attention, strategic retrieval, and organized mental storage.
Feminine brain regions:
- Temporal-parietal junction: Integrates new information within a broader contextual framework, supporting flexible association.
- Medial prefrontal cortex: Facilitates insight, meaning-making, and adaptive learning beyond rote memorization.
The masculine aspect ensures information is orderly, accessible, and reliably retrieved through discipline and mental control.
The feminine aspect allows the mind to remain open, flexible, and context-aware, enriching retention with deeper understanding and adaptive integration.
True mastery of information retention depends on this balance: masculine structure provides stability, while feminine receptivity fosters insight and meaningful learning.
Integration: The Real Measure of Intelligence
True intelligence isn’t just IQ or EQ – it’s how well your masculine and feminine mental energies work together
If masculine cognition is the engine and feminine cognition is the steering wheel, most people are driving with one or the other – never both. That’s why they either stall out or go in circles. Integration is the way to actually move forward.
When one side of your mind is underdeveloped, you’ll unconsciously choose partners, careers, and even conflicts that fill that gap. That’s why people repeat toxic relationships, struggle to lead, or feel perpetually misunderstood.
If I hadn’t sought integration in my twenties, I might still be locked in a purely feminine frame – perpetually vulnerable, overly deferential to women, and disconnected from a sense of personal authority. Developing my masculine intelligence made me more dynamic, decisive, and in control of my life.
Polarity Health exists to help people rewire that missing half of the mind – whether that’s igniting dormant masculine traits or awakening buried feminine intelligence.
If you’re ready to see which side of your mind is steering your life – and which one you’ve left in the backseat – start with my free Polarity Archetype Quiz. Your results will show you exactly where your integration journey begins.
